Forever Is Longer Than It Sounds
by tony-starks-nipples
Summary: Peeta and Katniss, swept up in the swarm of emotions that came with the end of the war, promise to love each other forever. But, as the two young lovers find out, forever is longer than it sounds. Peeniss.
1. Chapter 1 - The Warm Bathtub

The tub was full of water. All the way to the top. But I didn't want to strip down. It would take too much energy. So, instead of peeling my clothing from my body, I sunk into the tub in my pants, shirt, jacket, and socks. The water was so warm. Maybe if I could just...

I rolled over on my stomach and leaned up on my elbows. My mind flashed back to my last months in the Capitol before I came home. I was so desperate to die.

I am so desperate to die.

Before, I lower myself into the water and take a deep breath. In the back of my mind, I pray its my last.

How long have I been underwater? It seems like eternity. I feel my mind slowly clouding over when there's a tug on the back of my shirt.

I'm yanked out of the water, sucking in the air that I had been so pleasantly lacking. My eyes focused on Haymitch. He was soaking wet, thanks to me, and he looked as if someone had just punched him in the face.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

I groaned and sunk back into the tub. "Dying."

A towel was thrown at me. "Meet me in your living room. Don't think about drowning yourself again, because if you're not down there in a minute, I'm coming back up here." He slammed the door.

"Fuck you," I muttered under my breath.

"I heard that!"

"GOOD!"

I thought about getting up, locking the door, and then coming back and killing myself, but it seemed like too much of a hassle. Haymitch would probably break down the door, anyway. I stood and took off my clothes, wrapped myself in the towel, and went downstairs. If Haymitch felt uncomfortable, good. He can leave and I can get back to dying.

I stormed down the stairs. "What?" I demanded.

"You're asking me 'what' when I just walked in on you trying to drown yourself in the bathtub?"

I sat down in my seat with a groan.

"Wanna enlighten me on what brought this about?" he asked, crossing his legs.

"No."

"Katniss, we both know that you're going to tell me, so why don't we just cut to the chase."

"No."

"Fine, don't talk to me. I'll go find baker boy and maybe you'll talk to him."

"NO!" I screamed and leaned forward in my chair, my voice reaching octaves I didn't know it could reach.

"Ah," he said, as if he had just figured out all of my mysteries of the world. "You and baker boy aren't getting along."

I sat back in my chair and crossed my arms. "Peeta doesn't love me anymore," I muttered.

Haymitch burst out laughing. Then he started coughing from laughing so hard. Then he ended up doubled over laughing and coughing.

"What?!" I screamed.

"Peeta doesn't love you anymore, my ass," he slowed down to a chuckle. "What's really going on?"

"Peeta doesn't love me anymore." It was as simple as that.

"And what has led us to believe such a thing?"

I bit my lip and looked away. Tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn't cry in front of Haymitch. I had braved much worse things and not cried in front of him. I wasn't going to start now. I brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I liked this feeling of closing in on myself. Maybe if I just concentrated hard enough, I could actually just leave this world. Collapse and float away.

When Haymitch next spoke, his voice sounded concerned. "Katniss?"

"He left."

**So, here we have a bit of a Hunger Games fanfiction, now don't we :)**

**this story is all pre-written, so I shall just post the chapters up real quick like :)**


	2. Chapter 2 - The Promise

"You love me. Real or not real?"

"Real."

And I meant it. I knew I did. I leaned up and pressed my lips against his. It was our first kiss since the war in the Capitol. He was about to have an episode and I kissed him, hoping it would bring him back. It was successful. Sort of. But it wasn't real. That wasn't a real kiss.

There was the time at the beach during the Quell...

I got up out of the bed and crossed to my dresser. I glanced back at Peeta as I rummaged to the back of my sock drawer. He looked astronomically confused. When my hand finally brushed against the soft edge of it, I felt a warmth radiate inside me. I took the small ball in my hand and brought it back to the bed. I cuddled up against Peeta before opening my hand.

His eyes widened when he saw the pearl in my hand. "You kept it," he whispered. He reached his hand down and picked it up between his finger and thumb. He held it gently, as if it wasn't real. As if it would just disappear; become smaller than the sand it started out to as. "Katniss..."

"You don't have to say anything."

He wrapped his arms around me, clamping me into an embrace I couldn't leave if I wanted to. It didn't matter in the least, because I really didn't want to. I wrapped my arms around his middle and rested my head against his stomach. My head rose and fell with his breathing. He patted the hair on the back of my head, smoothing it down. I let out a hum of content.

"I think I always knew," I said, not bothering to move. I didn't want to break the silence, but I had to say it.

"Knew what?" he asked, keeping his rhythmic movement of petting my hair.

"That I loved you."

"Oh, Katniss," he said with a sigh. "You were the perfect example of a person in denial."

"Well excuse me for trying to be romantic. I'm new at this."

He chuckled and went back to petting my hair. "I know. And message received."

I moved up and pressed my lips softly to his. He sighed and kissed me back. As he slowly deepened the kiss, I remembered what it was like. What it was like to really love someone; not for the cameras, not to make an impression, not to save my skin and the skin of those I loved. No. This was loving someone to love someone. Loving them for who they were and what they did.

Surprisingly, he was the first to pull away. "I'm sorry," he whispered and sucked his bottom lip between his teeth and began to chew.

"For what?"

"For anything. For everything. For any problems I have caused in your life. For any problems that come up in the future. For just... I'm just sorry."

I put my finger to his lips. "Shh," I whispered. "There is no need for an apology. It is because of you that I am alive and it is because of you that I have the will to keep living. If anyone needs to apologize, it's me—"

"But—"

"Nope. No interrupting," I stated. "And as for future problems, as long as we're together, we'll be able to conquer anything that life decides to throw at us. I'd think that after all of this time, you'd have figured that out already."

"So," he asked batting my finger away from his lips. "You're saying forever?"

"That's right. I'm saying forever."

**Ooo yay. Fluff.**


	3. Chapter 3 - Valentine's Day

I stretched my arms above my head an let out a loud yawn mixed with a moan. My muscles didn't seem to want to be awake. I accidentally hit Peeta in the face and he shot up in bed. I laughed as his eyes darted around the room before he realized there was no imminent danger and slumped back into bed.

"Morning," he grumbled.

"Good morning, sunshine!" I squealed. I was in an unusually good mood and I couldn't help but wonder why. I hadn't been happy, truly happy, in years. I hadn't been ecstatic... ever. This morning was just so wonderful.

I guess my mood didn't go unnoticed. "What's got you so cheerful today?" he asked, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me closer. I wiggled out of his arms. Right now I'd rather look at him than hold him. In response to his question, I shrugged. "Alright, then," he said.

We laid in bed for awhile, just looking at each other. We didn't talk, we didn't touch, we didn't need to. Some part of me wondered why we couldn't just lay there forever. Eventually though, a sickening growl came from my stomach.

Peeta chuckled. "Someone's hungry." He started to get out of bed. He had almost stood up when I grabbed his shirt and pulled him back onto the bed. I pulled him toward me, pressing my lips against his. He did anything put protest. Instead, he used the hand that wasn't supporting his weight and tangled it into my hair. I moved my hands into his sandy hair and knotted my fingers around it. We started to slowly sink back into the bed when my stomach growled again.

I pulled away. "Pwease feed me?" I giggled, looking up from behind my eyelashes. I batted my eyes and pouted out my lip. He laughed, kissed my cheek, and left for the kitchen. I shouted something after him about being down in a minute.

For the longest time I was splayed out across the bed, limbs spreading to every corner of the mattress. I couldn't think of a more perfect morning. My stomach growled again and I realized it was ialmost/i perfect. I just needed to get some food in me.

I let my mind drift to Peeta and I. How we went from being complete strangers, to fake adversaries, to ally's, to awkward friends, to engaged, to becoming actual friends, to him hating me, to me hating him, to once again becoming friends, to falling in love.

My stomach flipped, not from hunger, but from the sheer idea that I loved him. And he loved me. It was all so new and exciting. I wondered if this feeling would fade as we grew old. Together. I hoped with all of my heart that it stayed as alive as it was now.

I let him float through my mind for awhile before I remembered something. It was so long ago. My father had told me about it, but when I asked about it in school they said "Such foolish things have died down." At that time, I figured it was foolish. But now that I felt the way I felt about Peeta, it didn't sound so stupid after all.

I jumped up and bounded down the stairs. Peeta was standing over a stove, cracking eggs into a pan.

"Hey Peeta," I shouted. He looked up, but didn't stop what he was doing.

"What?" he asked.

"Do you remember that day in school—"

"Katniss, you know that I don't."

I bit my lip. Oops. I forgot that he didn't have many memories of our childhood left. When the tracker jacker venom took over him, and finally was removed, it was like he was a piece of paper, once written over, now smudged with an eraser. There was still something there, but he couldn't quite make out what it was. "Sorry."

"It's okay," he said, walking to the side of the seat I was sitting on and kissing my cheek. "Now, what were you going to tell me?" He leaned his forehead against mine and looked into my eyes.

"I was just thinking upstairs about how when I was really young, my dad told me a story about this holiday but when I asked about it in school they said it had died out. My dad said it was never around in the history of Panem, but back when this was North America, it was popular."

"Mmhmm. And what was this holiday?"

"I can't remember the name, exactly," I admitted. "But it was a day to celebrate the person you loved the most. It was full of hearts and love and—"

"Valentine's Day. I do remember you asking about that in class."

I wrapped my arms around him, so proud of him for remembering. He was right, of course. He was always right. "So what do you say?" I asked.

"Say about what?"

"What do you say that we revive Valentine's Day. Just for you and me."

"I say sure. What day is it; we can make it annual. Just like it used to be."

I glanced over at a battered calendar on the floor. I walked over to it and picked it up. "February fourteenth," I read.

He crossed over to me. "Well that it then. February fourteenth is Katniss and Peeta's special Valentine's Day." He punctuated the sentence with a kiss. As we walked over to feed ourselves the eggs, I wondered in the back of my mind what day Valentine's Day used to fall on.

**Bleh. I wrote this on Valentine's Day last year.**


	4. Chapter 4 - A Game of Real or Not Real

We were lying sleepless in our bed. He was petting my hair, which he had long ago figured out was my favorite thing in the world. It had been almost a year since I finally told him I loved him. It had been almost a year since he officially moved his belongings from across the street into my house. It had been a year since Peeta and I had become Peeta and I. It had been the most wonderful year of my life.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked.

"Us," I said. He didn't respond, just kept petting my hair. Suddenly something formed in my brain."I wanna play a game," I stated.

"What game?" he asked.

"Real or not real."

I felt his body tense up. "That's not... that wasn't really a game... so to speak." I could tell that the game had some unpleasant memories linked to it in Peeta's sometimes foggy mind.

"But if you remember, it's how you got me to say that I loved you," I said, leaning up and pecking his lips. "And I do love you, Peeta Mellark. So, so much."

"I love you, too, Katniss Everdeen. And I always have."

I attacked him smothering his whole face in kisses. He lay still beneath me. When I finally let up he sighed. "Sure. Let's play."

"Ooh! Goody!" I said and got off of him, snuggling into his side. "Me first." I thought about it for awhile but I couldn't think of anything. "Fine, you first."

He didn't hesitate in the least. "You hated me for the first part of our first games. Real or not real?"

"Real," I admitted. I thought back to him teaming up with the careers. How I thought he had betrayed me only to save his own skin. How I thought everything he had ever told me was a lie. How I was so wrong because all he wanted to do was try and save my life. "Okay, since we're on the topic..." I started. "When I found you, you thought I could save you. Real or not real."

"Not real."

I gasped and hit him. "Peeta!" I shouted.

"You wanted to play." He shrugged. "I knew your mother was a healer, but that you were squeamish. You were scared and you had to fight for both of us. I also didn't think that I honestly could be saved. And you know... I wasn't iall/i saved," he said, tapping his metal leg with his real one.

Memories from our first games flashed through my mind and I buried my face in his chest. My throat burned with tears brought on from my hatred of myself. "I'm so sorry, Peeta." A few tears leaked out of the sides of my eyes. His soft shirt absorbed them immediately. "I did everything I knew how to do. I could have done so much more. I'm so sorry." I totally broke down and sobbed into his shirt. As he always did when he had to calm me down, he said nothing and began to pet my hair. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I repeated it in hopes that he would truly understand that I meant it.

Finally he said. "Katniss, I know. I blame you for nothing. You had no control over what went on in that arena." He patted my head once more. "I think we're done playing for tonight."

"No!" I shouted. "I have one more question for you." It was a question that had haunted me since the games began. My nights in the arena were spent thinking about it and still to this day I never had the guts to ask him. "When you were with the careers, and they thought they killed the girl from 4, and you went back to 'finish her off', you killed her. Real or not real?"

"Not real." I motioned for him to explain, so he sighed and did. "I wanted nothing more to get away from them, but I knew that as long as I was with them, I could help keep them away from you, which was my overarching goal for the entire event. I hated that Cato had tried to kill that girl. I know that's what you're supposed to do in the games, but that he was so excited to do it, so eager, it turned my stomach.

"So I volunteered to go back to her because I wanted to apologize. She told me that I was disgusting to go against you after my declaration of love. I told her exactly what was happening and exactly what I was doing. Then I said I was sorry. She said that she was sorry for doubting me and that she hoped that I was successful in saving you. Then I went back and she died."

I sighed. My Peeta. My beautiful, wonderful Peeta. He wasn't a killer. He went back to say that he was sorry. He went back because he had the biggest heart of anyone who entered that arena. The entire time I had planned to kill, to win, and all he wanted for me was to return home to Prim and my mother and Gale.

I put my head down and snuggled into him.

"Can I have one more?" he asked.

"Sure," I said.

"You love me. Real or not real?"

"Peeta, we've been over this before. You know the answer."

"I just like hearing you say it.

"Fine," I sighed, a smile tugging at my lips. "Real."

**A lot of fluff in this story *shrugs shoulders* what can I say?**


End file.
